I was born in the 21st century. I know how life works.
Well, guess they don't need me around any longer!
Friday, February 27, 2015
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Worse Than a Full Moon
Nothing makes kids who have to follow a dress code crazier than the chance NOT to wear that dress code. Which is what happens during Spirit Week. Personally, I participate in pretty much any special dress day that allows me to wear jeans. The guidelines for each special dress day are pretty clear, but of course everyone wants to push the limits as much as possible. For your reading pleasure, I've compiled a selection of questions that I have dealt with this week...
Day 1: Pajama Day
I don't wear pajamas to bed. What should I wear?
Day 2: Twin Day
If I am being a twin with someone, do I have to wear the exact same clothes as them?
Day 3: Casual Day
Can I wear make-up and high heels?
Day 4: Fanatic Day
Can I be a fan of dressing casually?
also
Can I be a fan of myself?
Day 5: School Spirit Day
I mistakenly assumed that I would not have to answer ANY questions about this day. You wear school colors, right? Easy.
So do my clothes need to be dress code? No, as long as they are school colors.
Is a white hoodie with red writing on it school colors? Well, white is a school color, but red is not. So maybe wear a blue shirt instead.
Can I wear a red shirt? Um, no.
Day 1: Pajama Day
I don't wear pajamas to bed. What should I wear?
Day 2: Twin Day
If I am being a twin with someone, do I have to wear the exact same clothes as them?
Day 3: Casual Day
Can I wear make-up and high heels?
Day 4: Fanatic Day
Can I be a fan of dressing casually?
also
Can I be a fan of myself?
Day 5: School Spirit Day
I mistakenly assumed that I would not have to answer ANY questions about this day. You wear school colors, right? Easy.
So do my clothes need to be dress code? No, as long as they are school colors.
Is a white hoodie with red writing on it school colors? Well, white is a school color, but red is not. So maybe wear a blue shirt instead.
Can I wear a red shirt? Um, no.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
I Have a Masters Degree in Educational Technology. Really.
I have been blessed with a student teacher this semester. She's fantastic. And she makes us cupcakes. And does other stuff too. She has been starting to take over teaching the afternoon classes as well as creating some cool Prezis. Prezi, in case you don't know, is a web-based presentation program kind of like PowerPoint. But cooler, in an albeit slightly nausea-inducing fashion. I have been using her Prezis even in the classes that I am still teaching rather than the PowerPoints that I've used for years. I always try to make my PowerPoints visually interesting, but the students are apparently over it...
Me: Okay, I need you to get out a piece of paper and write down what the expectations are for your poetry explication essay. *turns on projector*
Student: Wow, a Prezi! That's really cool, Ms. Whiston!
Me: I know, right?
Student: Your student teacher made it, didn't she?
Me: *sighs* Maybe.
I am going to go back to my cave and hammer some rocks together.
Me: Okay, I need you to get out a piece of paper and write down what the expectations are for your poetry explication essay. *turns on projector*
Student: Wow, a Prezi! That's really cool, Ms. Whiston!
Me: I know, right?
Student: Your student teacher made it, didn't she?
Me: *sighs* Maybe.
I am going to go back to my cave and hammer some rocks together.
Friday, February 6, 2015
A Short Week, Yet Not Short on Insanity
During today's spelling test...
Me: The word is "badminton." You know, the game you play with long-handled racquets, a net, and a little plastic birdie.
Student: I play with real birds. Hawks.
Note to self: do not play badminton at this kid's house.
And during a rousing game of Apples to Apples...
Me: Okay, the word is "flavorful."
*Students bring me cards, and I start reading through them*
Me: "Desert"? A desert would not be particularly flavorful. I think maybe you meant dessert with two s's. Maybe we need to review the differences between the two homonyms.
Student from that group: Oh, we know the difference. We were just hoping you wouldn't.
Apparently my 18 years of experience as a language arts teacher and a relatively well-educated person has gone unremarked.
Me: The word is "badminton." You know, the game you play with long-handled racquets, a net, and a little plastic birdie.
Student: I play with real birds. Hawks.
Note to self: do not play badminton at this kid's house.
And during a rousing game of Apples to Apples...
Me: Okay, the word is "flavorful."
*Students bring me cards, and I start reading through them*
Me: "Desert"? A desert would not be particularly flavorful. I think maybe you meant dessert with two s's. Maybe we need to review the differences between the two homonyms.
Student from that group: Oh, we know the difference. We were just hoping you wouldn't.
Apparently my 18 years of experience as a language arts teacher and a relatively well-educated person has gone unremarked.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
A Smorgasbord of 7th Grade Gems For Your Reading Pleasure
Gem 1, overheard while discussing "The Highwayman"...
Me: So Tim the stable boy overhears what the highwayman is going to do, and what does he do with this information?
Student 1: He rats the highwayman out to the cops!
Me: Well, they didn't have cops back then--but he does tell the redcoats.
Student 2: *shakes head and sighs* Tim, Tim, Tim. Classic Tim.
Gem 2, overheard while preparing to leave for the day...
Me: Is there anyone willing to do a job for me if I give you a sticker?
Students: *jump up and down with hands in the air, begging to be chosen*
Me: Thanks for volunteering! [Student's Name], I saw your hand up first. Could you please count the poetry books on the shelf for me?
A Different Student: *under her breath* Well, of course you picked him. His was the only hand you could visibly see!
Because everyone else has invisible hands? So confused!
Gem 3, overheard while discussing the 7th grade field trip to Cedar Point in the spring...
Student 1: What do I get since I was the first person to turn in my money and permission slip?
Me: A ticket and a bus ride to Cedar Point.
Student 2: What happens if I get sick on a ride?
Me: Throw up far away from me. Or, you know, don't go.
Student 3: What happens if you miss the bus in the morning?
Me: You stay here.
Student 3: You mean you wouldn't wait for us? Shouldn't we get a refund then?
Me: I don't believe you understand how this trip works. You show up on time, we go to the park, we leave on time. You get no refund if you can't tell time.
Student 4: Do you ride the rides?
Me: Of course. Because I'm a teacher, I don't have to wait in any lines. I get to walk right up to the ride and get on immediately.
Student 5: No fair! Do the kids in your group get to skip the line too?
Me: Oh, no. I don't have any students in a group. You guys are chaperoned by parents. I just walk around eating Dippin' Dots and cutting in line all day. It's pretty much the best day ever.
Student 6: Do we have to wear a shirt?
Me: Yes, I am pretty certain that the school dress code requires you to wear a shirt. Barring that, Cedar Point's dress code most likely requires you to be clothed anyways.
Student 6: No, I meant do we have to wear the t-shirt that you design for us?
Me: Why would you not want to? The t-shirt will likely involve Star Wars, unicorns, and/or sloths. The trip is worth it for the shirt alone.
I probably shouldn't be put in charge of anything.
Me: So Tim the stable boy overhears what the highwayman is going to do, and what does he do with this information?
Student 1: He rats the highwayman out to the cops!
Me: Well, they didn't have cops back then--but he does tell the redcoats.
Student 2: *shakes head and sighs* Tim, Tim, Tim. Classic Tim.
Gem 2, overheard while preparing to leave for the day...
Me: Is there anyone willing to do a job for me if I give you a sticker?
Students: *jump up and down with hands in the air, begging to be chosen*
Me: Thanks for volunteering! [Student's Name], I saw your hand up first. Could you please count the poetry books on the shelf for me?
A Different Student: *under her breath* Well, of course you picked him. His was the only hand you could visibly see!
Because everyone else has invisible hands? So confused!
Gem 3, overheard while discussing the 7th grade field trip to Cedar Point in the spring...
Student 1: What do I get since I was the first person to turn in my money and permission slip?
Me: A ticket and a bus ride to Cedar Point.
Student 2: What happens if I get sick on a ride?
Me: Throw up far away from me. Or, you know, don't go.
Student 3: What happens if you miss the bus in the morning?
Me: You stay here.
Student 3: You mean you wouldn't wait for us? Shouldn't we get a refund then?
Me: I don't believe you understand how this trip works. You show up on time, we go to the park, we leave on time. You get no refund if you can't tell time.
Student 4: Do you ride the rides?
Me: Of course. Because I'm a teacher, I don't have to wait in any lines. I get to walk right up to the ride and get on immediately.
Student 5: No fair! Do the kids in your group get to skip the line too?
Me: Oh, no. I don't have any students in a group. You guys are chaperoned by parents. I just walk around eating Dippin' Dots and cutting in line all day. It's pretty much the best day ever.
Student 6: Do we have to wear a shirt?
Me: Yes, I am pretty certain that the school dress code requires you to wear a shirt. Barring that, Cedar Point's dress code most likely requires you to be clothed anyways.
Student 6: No, I meant do we have to wear the t-shirt that you design for us?
Me: Why would you not want to? The t-shirt will likely involve Star Wars, unicorns, and/or sloths. The trip is worth it for the shirt alone.
I probably shouldn't be put in charge of anything.
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