1. While discussing symbolism, a student had an epiphany and screamed (literally), "Oh! I get it! The bird represents the boy, and the bird dies, and that shows THE SURRENDER OF THE BOY'S SOUL!!!" while beating his fist on his chest. Really. He beat his chest.
2. Student: Do you ever think about iPhones?
Me: Um, not a whole lot.
Student: Maybe we are like iPhones to aliens. iPhones have cases, we have clothes. Maybe the aliens hold us up and show us off to their friends.
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhh boy.
3. Me: Okay, guys, I need your voices off. HEY! YOU NEED TO QUIET DOWN SO WE CAN LEAVE!
Student: You should use the Force, Ms. Whiston.
Student: She'd probably choke us with it.
4. *immediately after I stopped laughing about #3*
Student: Hey, it's okay, Ms. Whiston. Just stay in "The Eye of the Tiger" and "Don't Stop Believin'."
Really, people. I literally cannot make this stuff up.
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