Thursday, April 30, 2015

Stop! Collaborate and Listen!

My homeroom students were discussing rappers this morning (I don't know why.  I try not to ask too many questions.)  This was the conversation that I managed to catch...

Student One:  What about Vanilla Ice?

Student Two:  You know, he's white though.

Student One:  What are you talking about?

Student Two:  He's white.

Me (because I could no longer take it):  Why do you think his name is Vanilla Ice?

Student One:  I just thought he really liked vanilla ice cream.

This, among many reasons, is why I have to educate these children in the ways of 80s pop culture.


Monday, April 20, 2015

Tilting At Windmills

We're finishing up our biography and autobiography unit.  Hannah, the student teacher, came up with this great lesson plan about Miguel de Cervantes, the author of Don Quixote.  To give them some background, she showed them a picture of him:


Questions from the students included:

Is that a man or a woman?
Where's the rest of his body?


Oh, but it goes on.  Apparently during Cervantes's lifetime, there was this thing called the Holy League.  I freely admit I knew nothing about this--apparently it was a group of Catholic countries that joined together to drive the Turks out of the eastern Mediterranean in 1571.  The students immediately thought that it was a church softball team.  Seems logical to me.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Honeymoon's Almost Over

So my student teacher has been gone for the past two days in order to attend job fairs and, you know, get a job. Leaving me in charge. I need to get used to it since her days with us are numbered, but I figured I would mess with her while I still can. Here is the actual text messages exchanged between us tonight as she attempted to regroup for tomorrow: 

I am freaking hysterical. 

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Feeding Frenzy

At the end of the day, I was encouraging a straggling student to gather his plentitude of belongings so we could go outside...

Me: Let's go! Everyone else is outside already!

Student: I'm coming, just wait a second. I have to pack up my book about feeding piranhas.

Because apparently pet piranhas are a thing now.

But then I remembered another moment of joy today, which seemed unrelated at first. I made the piranha connection and all was right with the world!  During snack time, I was eating Cap'n Crunch Berries directly from the box. Like you do. I was actually standing by my teammate's room and I asked her if I could throw some Crunch Berries at the students in her room. Being my teammate, of course she agreed that it would be a brilliant idea. So I proceeded to pelt an unsuspecting kid with cereal. Once the other kids saw what I was doing, they all clamored to be pelted with cereal as well. Like you do. Rather than pelt them all individually, I made the rash decision to throw a handful of Crunch Berries into the air. 

It was as if I had thrown gold pieces at them.  There was great jumping and leaping and shoving and falling on the floor to claim the coveted Berries of Crunch. The students crammed the berries into their mouths while my teammate and I laughed hysterically.

So the theme of the day was piranha, unbeknownst to me. I am hoping for narwhals tomorrow.


Saturday, March 7, 2015

Separated At Birth

This woman is my soul sister. If we taught in the same hallway, the universe would implode from the awesomeness and sarcasm.  Check her out!  

http://www.loveteachblog.com/?m=1

Friday, February 27, 2015

Ah,To Be Young Again

Overheard in my classroom today...

I was born in the 21st century.  I know how life works.

Well, guess they don't need me around any longer!


Thursday, February 26, 2015

Worse Than a Full Moon

Nothing makes kids who have to follow a dress code crazier than the chance NOT to wear that dress code.  Which is what happens during Spirit Week.  Personally, I participate in pretty much any special dress day that allows me to wear jeans.  The guidelines for each special dress day are pretty clear, but of course everyone wants to push the limits as much as possible.  For your reading pleasure, I've compiled a selection of questions that I have dealt with this week...

Day 1: Pajama Day

I don't wear pajamas to bed.  What should I wear?

Day 2:  Twin Day

If I am being a twin with someone, do I have to wear the exact same clothes as them?

Day 3: Casual Day

Can I wear make-up and high heels?

Day 4: Fanatic Day

Can I be a fan of dressing casually?

also 

Can I be a fan of myself?

Day 5: School Spirit Day

I mistakenly assumed that I would not have to answer ANY questions about this day.  You wear school colors, right? Easy.

So do my clothes need to be dress code?  No, as long as they are school colors.

Is a white hoodie with red writing on it school colors?  Well, white is a school color, but red is not.  So maybe wear a blue shirt instead.

Can I wear a red shirt?  Um, no.