Paging Mr. Skywalker...

A few weeks ago, one of the middle school teachers (we'll call him Mr. Skywalker) left our school because he got a job much closer to home.  Of course the kids were upset, but I thought things had started to calm down.  Today's installment proves that it's NEVER over in middle school.

Student:  You know that inflatable unicorn head on your wall behind you?

Me:  WHAT?  THERE'S A UNICORN HEAD ON MY WALL?  NO!

*puzzled silence from student*

Me:  Sigh.  Yes, I am aware of the unicorn head on my wall.

Student:  Well, you should get one like that of Mr. Skywalker.  And he should be wearing that red hat.


1.  No unicorns were harmed in the writing of this blog.

2.  It's a fez.  The unicorn wears the fez usually.  Mr. Skywalker would occasionally steal it from the unicorn and wear it for Hat Day or Fanatic Day.  Or Tuesday.

3.  I have no plans to decapitate Mr. Skywalker in order to hang his head on my wall.  Quite frankly, that would be creepy.

An Act of War

Sometimes things don't turn out as you plan.  I decided to try an anticipatory activity with my classes today to get them to predict what our next story would be about.  Honestly, I thought it would be pretty easy to figure out.  I had them perform some simple tasks using their non-dominant hands.  Then we talked about how they felt while doing the tasks--frustrated, stupid, slow, etc.  The point of this was to get them to predict that the next story was going to involve characters who had issues with their dominant hands (one in a car accident, one in the war in Vietnam) and had to learn to compensate.

The predicting part did not go so well.  When I asked the class why they thought I had made them do this activity, they immediately responded that I was trying to get them to write more neatly.  While that is indeed true for some of them, I noted that we do have other things that we do in ELA other than writing.  Maybe they could make a prediction about something having to do with another topic we are learning about, such as characterization or point of view?

After more discussion, the class finally determined that the activity had something to do with a story we were going to read.  Then a student made a prediction that it might have something to do with veterans since today is Veteran's Day.  I was very excited-YES!  It DOES have something to do with a veteran!  What might that connection be?  WHY WOULD I HAVE MADE EVERYONE WRITE THEIR NAME AND DRAW A TREE USING THEIR NON-DOMINANT HAND?  HOW MIGHT THAT CONNECT TO THE STORY?

And then...a student raises her hand.  Surely we'd gotten to the whole point of the exercise, that one of the characters was a veteran who had injured his hand.  She says, "I may be a little off base with this, but I think it means you are going to send us to war."


If memory serves, I think I need Congress's approval for that.

Patience, Young Grasshopper...

Last week was interim test week at school.  This means that all language arts and math classes have big big tests and we teachers get the pleasure of grading the constructed responses before scanning the rest of the test in to the gradebook.  One of my former students was a little anxious about finding out his score on his math test, and he stopped his math teacher on her way out the door...

Student: Are you going to have the interims graded by tomorrow?

Math Teacher: Possibly.  It depends upon how long it takes.

Student: Oh, you can pull an all-nighter to get them all done!

Me:  Whoa there chief...it's not quite that easy! [Student's current ELA teacher walks by and I called her into the room]  Tell your ELA teacher what you just said!

Student:  I just want to know what my grades are!  It's important!  Are you going to have our interims graded by tomorrow?

ELA Teacher:  Well, actually, I have no life whatsoever.  So I am just going to go straight home to grade this giant stack of papers.  I will not eat or sleep until I am finished so you can have your grade tomorrow.

Student:  Finally!  Someone who appreciates my priorities!

We're going to need to work on the concept of facetiousness, apparently.

Something Wicked This Way Comes...

Here's an oldie to get you in the spirit of things. No spoilers if you haven't read the story...

Overheard in my classroom today...

Me: *reads the classic creepy story "The Monkey's Paw" in order to teach mood*

Student:  So wait, the son was dead?  How did he die?

Me: *bangs head against the wall*

So Many Words!

I am returning to the classroom on Monday, so no doubt there will be some new posts forthcoming.  Here's an old one that popped up in my "On This Day" thingie on Facebook...

Student: What words are we supposed to be studying this week?
Me: Your spelling words. Unit 7.
Student: Oh. Which book are those words in?
Me: Um, your spelling book? Try that one.

I wonder which book the student was using to study for the first six units...

Fra-jee-lay....It Must Be Italian!

It's been a while...some not so funny stuff going on.  But here's a funny story to reward you for your patience.

Today after school, a GIGANTIC semi attempted to pull into the parking lot during pick-up time.  If you have ever been in the school parking lot at 3:15, you know that it is not a place to be driving a semi.  Or anything else, if you ask me.  But I digress.  The semi was delivering a cart for a classroom set of Chromebooks, which really is not large enough to warrant an entire semi, but whatever.  Not my problem.  The principal managed to get the semi out of the way until the parking lot emptied and then asked if I would help to ensure that it got into the building with her.  The semi driver loaded the cart off the truck, no problem.  Then he worked on unwrapping it from the shipping materials while the principal and I waited.

Here's where it gets interesting.  The cart had a pyramid-shaped warning sign on the top so that no one would stack anything on top of it.  The semi driver said, "Oh, I'm sorry, there's only one party hat for you."  Which, of course, means I have to put it on my head.  See below:

As I was busy taking selfies/embarassing students by forcing them to admit they know me, the semi driver looks at me intently and asks, "Do you watch that show American Horror Story?"  Well, I don't, but I'm pretty sure nothing good can come out of a conversation that begins like that.  I admit to not watching it, but say that I know that it is super scary, especially this season.  The driver says, "Oh no, I don't mean this season.  The one you make me think of is the one with the freak show."

The principal lost it completely.  I was forced to slink inside in shame.  With my party hat, obviously.

Rodent Escapades

Never in a thousand years would I imagine that I would have ANOTHER blogworthy moment in my new job so soon!  And it's AMAZING.

I had just gotten out of an interview for a new staff member when I heard the front office calling for a custodian needed in a fourth grade classroom on the radio.  I ignored it and started back to "my" office, but one of the ladies in the front office said that I should also go to the fourth grade room.  Um, why?  Because there was a MOUSE in the closet!  Clearly, I was the woman for the job.

So I booked it down to the room and saw the custodian coming out the door.  I asked him if he had caught the mouse, and he said no.  He was going to call the exterminator.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Okay, I have a soft spot for mices.

The mouse, who was scared out of its little mouse brain, was hiding in the closet.  I carefully took some of the stuff out of the bottom of the closet, which of course just made the mouse panic even more.  When I tried to grab it, it jumped out of my hands and ran out the door of the classroom.  Now we have mouse on the loose in the hallway.  By this time, the other custodian had joined in the Great Mouse Hunt, so there were three adults running after this teeny little mouse.  Kids are watching through the doors of the classrooms as we dive on the floor trying to grab it, probably laughing at our lack of grace and skill at mouse-catching.  I cornered it, but it kept jumping out of my grasp.  I was worried that it was either going to run under the door to another classroom, or run down my pants.  Finally, one of the custodians executed some crazy ninja moves (seriously--I have never seen the like) and trapped the mouse in a plastic container.  She then immediately handed it off to me.  I, of course, took its picture:

No, I did not keep it as a pet, even though it was super-cute.  I took it outside and set it free in the field behind the school.  It scampered away, much relieved to be free.  At least until 8:00 when it can slip back inside the building.