Chestnuts Roasting...

Today my partner-in-crime teammate discovered a new use for his LCD projector--instant flickering fireplace in the classroom!  With sound effects!  Oh, it was genius.  There were a crowd of students in his room before homeroom, mesmerized by the flames.  And they were quiet.  So, so quiet.  We stood outside his door, admiring his handiwork (okay, I was secretly somewhat bitter that I hadn't thought of it myself) when this exchange occurred...

Student:  There's a fire in your room!

Teammate:  Yes, I know.

Student: That's pretty awesome!

Teammate: Yes, I know.

Student:  Does it emit real heat?

*pause*

Me:  Yes.  Of course it does.

Teammate:  Just be careful not to get too close.  You don't want to burn yourself.

Student:  Okay.

And he walks to the board with the others.


Why do they make it so easy for me?  Why?  WHY?

That Escalated Quickly.

During homeroom this morning, the kids were complaining that they had a test in EVERY class today.  And there was great wailing and gnashing of teeth.  I pointed out to them that they had a ten-question math QUIZ and a spelling test, which is really no big deal.  And maybe they should get over themselves.  This led to a diatribe about how important it was for them to do well on these tests because they could affect their entire future, and we (the teachers) should therefore cancel at least SOME of the tests,  I wanted to point out that one spelling test counts for nearly nothing in a weighted gradebook, but I let them expound on their thesis.

Student: If we fail the spelling test, we're going to have to live in a box on the streets of Detroit.  And then some guy will pee on us.

Clearly, I should have been willing to move the spelling test so they could avoid this fate.  I am such a jerk.

In Living Color

We've been reading A Christmas Carol.  Today, since I didn't want to suffer through another stave wasn't ready to move on to Stave Three, I decided to show part of the movie.  This way, the kids don't have to focus for two hours without a break, plus they get to see the setting, costumes, etc.  The George C. Scott version (which is the ONLY acceptable version other than the Muppets) is great for this because it was filmed in a restored Victorian village.  Before we watched it, I gave them some background on the film...

Me:  So this movie was made in 1984, and yes, we did have color back then.

Student:  So is it in color?

Me:  Will someone please explain the answer to that question to [name redacted] for me?  Because I'm pretty sure I just answered it.

Student:  No, Ms. Whiston, that's not what I meant.  I meant is it in COLOR color or black-and-white color?

Me:  I need you to not ask me any more questions today please.

Apparently Turkey Causes Craziness...

....because the kids were bonkers today.  BONKERS.  Like they had never been in a classroom before.  So it was a tough day, especially since the lesson was to watch a biography of Charles Dickens while taking notes for a "quiz" afterwards.  Admittedly, not the most exciting thing in the world.  As we went over the finer details of Dickens's life, one of the questions asked why Dickens had left his wife (basically because he was a jerk).

Me: So what was one of the reasons why Charles Dickens wanted to separate from his wife?

Student: Well, he blamed her for losing his creativity.  Plus he was having an affair with some actress.

Another Student: Wait...did you talk to him?

I guess the whole 35-minute documentary we had just watched kinda escaped his notice.