On Top of Spagheeeeeetttttiiii...

In seventh grade, we have ten vocabulary words each week.  I start off the unit by going through the words to make sure everyone understands the definitions and pronunciations.  One of the words this week was "exploit", as in to take advantage of.  Seventh graders are reeeeeaaaalllyyyy good at exploiting things, if you didn't know.  As we discussed the definition, I mentioned that some of them had "exploited" the substitute teacher who had been in the classroom the day before.  We talked about how "exploitation" is deliberate--you are going out of your way to do it, and you are aware that what you are doing is probably ethically questionable.  One student referred back to a story I had shared earlier in the year about how I as a young child "exploited" my even-younger brother by telling him swear words to repeat to my mom, thereby earning him a spanking.  I agreed that indeed, I had definitely "exploited" my brother's youth and naiveté--I knew that he would get into trouble, and I wanted it to happen because I was jealous of him.

I also reminded the students that I had been known to "exploit" seventh-graders as well.  For example, a few of the teachers at a different school I used to work at teamed up once to convince the students that we were at war with Canada.  We also told them that spaghetti grew on trees.  Classic example of "exploiting" gullibility based on the classic 1957 April Fools joke concocted by the BBC:

My current students laughed and laughed....no way would THEY be so stupid as to allow me to "exploit" them in such a fashion!

Then a student asked how noodles were ACTUALLY made.  Another student immediately piped up that he made noodles at home with his family and that they were made from flour.  I confirmed this detail.  The first student looked puzzled, so I clarified that noodles were made from eggs and flour and water.  He said, "OH!  I thought you meant that they were made from FLOWERS!  This makes MUCH more sense!"

Homophones FTW.

Immature? Moi?

Did I not promise more posts?

Technically I did not actually overhear this, but it's too funny to not relate.

Today in math class, students were working in groups to come up with ideas that will be included on our 7th grade social contract.  For those of you not in the know, the social contract is a document that details how we will treat each other.  Once all ideas are discussed and voted upon, everyone (including the teachers) will sign it.  This helps us all to be held accountable for our words and actions.

Usually we encourage the students to include words with broad implications in a variety of situations, such as "respect."  Then we talk about what respect looks like and sounds like, to ensure that everyone understands how we define it.

Apparently a group of students were discussing the word "maturely."  This is a word that commonly comes up on the social contract.  One of the students complained, and I am paraphrasing, "Why do we have to act maturely?  Ms. Whiston doesn't."

Frankly, I am somewhat surprised that no one has brought up this point before.

Technically, He's Not Wrong...

It's only the second day of the school year, but I am already getting the feeling that I might be posting more often this year!

As a get-to-know-you/following directions activity, the students have to create a vanity plate that represents themselves.  You know, they look like this:

But because I am a MASTER TEACHER (ha ha ha ha hahahahahaha), I don't just say create a personalized license plate.  I try to get them to figure out what a vanity plate is by using some logical deduction.  They can usually figure out that I am talking about license plates rather than dinner plates, but it's more difficult to get to the definition of vanity.  One student pointed out that a vanity is a piece of furniture.  I agreed with them and asked them to describe a vanity.  The class was able to put together that a vanity is a low dresser with a spot where you can pull up a chair.  And there's a big mirror.

"So why do we call this furniture a 'vanity?'" I asked.  

Blank stares.

"What does 'vanity' mean?"

More blank stares.

"Okay... let's think.  It's called a 'vanity' because of the activity that occurs at it.  Would men or women be more likely to sit down at a vanity?"

Everyone was in instant agreement that women would be more likely to sit there.

"Why?  What might women be doing at the vanity?  Remember, there's a huge mirror on it," I prompted.

A boy in the middle of the room raises his hand and answers, "Taking selfies?"

HEY YOU GUUUUUUUUYS!

Probably to no one's surprise, I have a large collection of random magnets stuck to various metal surfaces in my classroom.  One of them looks like this:

This movie represents my entire childhood.  I must have seen it five times in the theatre.  But the youth of today have not necessarily been educated in Goonie.  Which is a sad state of affairs.

A kid was looking at the magnets the other day and asked if this was something famous.  I replied in the affirmative.  He then said, "Oh, I thought that kid was you when you were younger."

Um, thanks?

At least they didn't ask me to do the Truffle Shuffle.

When You're a Jet, You Stay a Jet!

We've been studying Shakespeare and Romeo and Juliet for the past two weeks.  Luckily, one of my curricular objectives demands that we compare and contrast the text to a filmed version.  DONE!  I show a few clips from the 1997 Romeo + Juliet with Leonardo, Gnomeo and Juliet (this made an appearance in the blog last year), and The Complete Works of William Shakespeare--Abridged!  

Today was a half day, and I only had about thirty minutes with one of my classes.  I decided I would show them some of West Side Story.  I used to show the entire movie because I feel it is my duty as a teacher to expose my students to the wonder of musical theater, plus then I can sing the songs at the kids all day and it gives me great pleasure.  Strangely, the students are usually bored and/or annoyed with the film (and possibly my singing), so I have backed off and now only show a few scenes.  Today's group, however, would have happily watched the entire thing.  I started off with the opening dance battle scene.  Usually the kids complain about how lame it is.  This group immediately sorted themselves into rival gangs based on shirt color.  We didn't have time to watch much more other than the scene at the dance, but it certainly made an impression.  As they walked out to their lockers, there was a great deal of snapping as well as some jazz hands.  No, I am not joking.

A parent has already reported that the snapping continued at home as well.  Apparently I need to teach an elective on classical musical films.

99 Luftballons

Okay, there weren't 99 balloons, and they certainly weren't all red.  But there were plenty of balloons and streamers attached to my door last week for my birthday by my wonderful teammates (thanks again, teamies!)

The decorations haven't been removed due to my laziness my desire to force everyone to celebrate my birthday all month.  Two balloons did have to be removed, however, because I couldn't open the door all the way.  If you have met seventh graders, you understand that the door needs to be able to open all the way while you are monitoring them from the hall.  The balloons that I removed were hung inside my room on my closet door in a rather festive manner.  I noticed today that one of them was looking pretty puny, but I didn't have time care enough to deflate it and throw it away.

During my second block class, a student was apparently saddened by the sorry state of the balloon.  I looked up to find him standing in the back by the closet.  PETTING THE BALLOON.

"What on earth are you doing?" I demanded.

"I just couldn't help it!" he cried.  "The balloon just looks--so sad!  I thought it needed a friend!  If the balloon can't have a friend, then no one can!"

I am a monster, apparently.

No Business Like Show Business

One of my self-appointed jobs as a middle school teacher is to teach my students that life isn't fair.  You don't like your assigned seat?  Life's not fair.  You forgot your book in your locker?  Life's not fair.  The English language is difficult?  Life's not fair.

It's a public service, really.

I don't remember what the charge was today--maybe something about not getting chosen to share good news or something equally as life-shattering.  So I launched into my usual speech about life not being fair.  A kid over in the corner--without prompting from me-- launched into "It's A Hard-Knock Life."  He was quickly joined by the majority of the class.  That adorable Orphan Annie sure gets me.

In related news, I would like to promote the use of show tunes in the classroom on a daily basis.  Perhaps I can team up with the music teacher and offer credit for applying appropriate lyrics to classroom situations....hmmmm...