M(ad) Students

To end up the year, I do a unit about media literacy and advertising.  We talk about advertising techniques and the uses of color, and then the assignment is to design their own cereal box.  The kids then have to explain their box to the class.  Here are some of the highlights from the presentations...

Student One: Our cereal has 210 calories per serving.  It also can cure cancer.
Student Two:  210 calories?  That's a lot!
Student One:  That's the price you pay for curing cancer.
Student Two:  Diabetes?

Student Three:  Our cereal graphics target children of all ages.  Because who doesn't love alien dogs wearing leprechaun hats?

Student Four:  Our cereal is called Coco-Cabbages.  If you collect all five of the golden cabbages inside, you can win a dragon-warrior-sized dumpling.

Student Five:  We're not going to say that our cereal will cure cancer, but it is gluten-free!

Student Six:  Our cereal has negative 1000 calories--it defies obesity.

Student Seven:  Our cereal is called Swaggy's.  It has 110 calories of swag per serving.

Student Eight:  Our tagline is, "Unicorn Doo-Doo--A Butt-load of Fun!"

We Love Testing!

And because we love testing so much, we haven't had regular classes in a while.  I've been collecting the random awsomeness for you, however, and now it gets published in one big post o' joy and happiness.

Scene One: Before school begins.  Students are talking about a car they followed that had something hanging out of the trunk.
Student:  I was kind of upset when they opened the trunk that it wasn't a body.  Sacrifices must be made, I guess.

Scene Two:  Again, before school begins.  I am taking a selfie for some reason, probably to send to my now-former student teacher to harrass her.
Student (in tone of incredulity):  What are you doing?  You're taking selfies and you're pushing 50?
I'm really not pushing 50, btw.

Scene Three:  Before school.  I have been asked to fill in for traffic duty.
Me:  Is it raining outside right now?
Student:  No, but it rained last night.
Because that would somehow help me to decide if I should bring an umbrella or not.

Scene Four:  On our way to test in the library.
Student One:  Wow, look at [actual name redacted, let's call him Johnny].  Johnny looks different today.
Student Two:  Yeah, you're right.  What's different about him?
Student One:  Oh my gosh, Johnny's not wearing his jacket!
Student Two:  He's living the thug life.

Scene Five: Before assembly.
Former Homeroom Student:  Is [actual name redacted, let's call her Susie] in your homeroom?
Me:  Yes, she is.
Former Homeroom Student:  Is she there now?
Me:  Yes, she is.
Former Homeroom Student: Okay, great!  Where's your homeroom?
Me:  Are you for reals?

I hope that this sampling of seventh (and eighth) grade craziness helps to get you through your day.  It sure helps me.  That and banging my head against the wall.