Iceberg, Dead Ahead!

While reading a narrative nonfiction piece about Titanic (the ship, not the movie) today:

• Why didn't they just call in a helicopter?
• Did they have night-vision goggles?
• Couldn't they have made a spotlight using aluminum foil and lightbulbs?
• If the watertight doors were closed, what would happen if someone was standing under them?
• Why did they leave the watertight doors open normally?  Wouldn't that let water in?  (they thought the doors were on the hull of the ship)
• If the water was so cold, how did Jack survive for so long? (mind you, we spent the first five minutes of class discussing the difference between narrative nonfiction and historical fiction)
• They had seven iceberg warnings?  Seven?  This really irritates me!  I need to call someone about this!

Spelling Test Shenanigans

A student gets up during the spelling test today to blow his nose.  Before he does the deed, he contemplates the (blue) tissue and says, "Is this tissue blueberry flavored?"  He proceeds to lick the tissue and then announces, "Nope, it's just regular flavor."

Several minutes later, the spelling word is likable, and I always use the word in a sentence for context.  Please be aware that much of the time the sentences are made up for my personal amusement rather than using the boring ones from the book.  So the sentence I give is, "Ms. Whiston is a very likable person.  But she is not lickable."  Because I told them at the beginning of the week that someone would confuse the two words. This, of course, led to a barrage of items that could be considered lickable, such as popsicles, candy canes, and apparently unicorns.

Then a voice from the back of the room intones, deadpan, "So are tissues."

Aaaaaaand we're all through here.

Sassy

A former student sent me this.

Presented without comment.

Sugar Rush

FYI we have a strict no-candy-or-gum policy at school...

Me: Hey, I don't care what it is you're eating--you need to get rid of it.

Student, with wide-eyed incredulity: But it's a candy pumpkin!

I honestly think she wanted me to respond with, "Oh! A candy pumpkin! Well, now that changes everything! If it was just plain old candy corn, that would be a problem. But a pumpkin! Have at it! In fact, CANDY PUMPKINS FOR EVERYONE! HUZZAH!"

Epic

It's Payday Thursday, which means the teachers order lunch. When I placed the order online, a box asked if I had any special requests.

Big mistake.

Please draw a sloth, unicorn, or dinosaur on the box.

Here's what arrived: 

For. The. Win.

Just for Giggles

The kids had a grammar assessment today. To amuse myself (as well as to freak the kids out), the bonus question read as follows:

Draw me a picture of a sloth, dinosaur, or unicorn doing something awesome on the back of this page. Say nothing about this question to other classes or to people who didn't read the whole test.

Here are some samples of what I received:

Juicy Fruit

Overheard while kids were working on the prewriting for their next essay...

Me:  Hey, you need to sit down and get to work.

Student:  I can't.  I'm trying to think.

Me:  You can think while you sit.

Student:  But I need something to write about, something so.... JUICY... that I want to take another bite!

He got to stand up.