Watch Out For That First Step...

It's been a busy week, but there were some doozies!

1.  We're reading about the Titanic disaster.  The selection in our textbook was written by Robert Ballard, the oceanographer who discovered the wreck.  I told the kids about how nowadays he is exploring the deep trenches of the ocean.  It takes him hours to go down the trench in the submarine and hours to go back up.  A student asked, "How does he hold his breath that long?"

2.  I have no idea how the topic came up, but someone made a comment about how old I am.  I immediately notified the students that I am not the oldest seventh grade teacher; my arch-nemesis co-worker is.  By six months.  But it still counts.  A girl in the back looked at me up and down and said, "Well, clearly she moisturizes." 

3.  A student managed to stick a pencil eraser to his forehead and approached me saying, "Look!  I'm a unicorn!"

For reals.

Once More Into the Breach, Dear Friends...

Day One:  CRUSHED IT! 

You know it's gonna be a good year when you get a blog post on the first day of school, right?  So I do actually teach a lesson on the first day--because I am the meanest teacher on Carpenter Road.  Plus I have 90 minutes to fill.  The first lesson is always about how to write a personal letter.  Then they have to write a personal letter to me to introduce themselves.  Genius, right?

Writing this letter isn't all that complicated.  There's really only 3 formatting issues to be dealt with.  In order to explain where the various components should be placed on notebook paper, I draw a piece of paper on my whiteboard so it looks something like:

Only mine doesn't look this good, because let's face it...I'm an ELA teacher, not an art teacher.

The point I was attempting to make is that when we write, we justify our words to the left margin.  I'm nothing if all about academic vocabulary, even on the first day.  I was trying to get the kids to come up with the name of the red line running down the left side of the page, which initially got me responses of, "It's a line!" and "It's a red line!"  

Highly technical terms.  

I said, "It begins with an M."

And a student in the front blurts out, "Oh!  I know!  Mississippi!"

*crickets*

*hysterical laughter as I bang my head against the wall*

I need to go back and review exactly when I began being a geography teacher, apparently.